2022 wrapped (ao3 ver.)

[sunwalkr]

i will be very frank and honest i just don't know how i did last years post (it's also been a whole year?!) so i am going to be slightly less ambitious and just make sure i actually get this out before the year starts. see in theory i adore organization and setting up structure but i have really poor follow through i am learning (to my defense i recognize that i have had a lot of personal accomplishments for this year & tend to keep myself booked n busy like crazy but still. it's a new year. i really want to slow things down, so that i can properly reflect n be grateful n just. sit in the quiet moments more. i don't need to be in motion all the time!).

it is probably also the reason why i literally died on this acc after 17hols. asjdhfkajs need to find a way to make things simpler for myself instead of choosing to make things complicated

& now without further ado this is what i got up to in 2022!

[jan 4, 2022 - dec 25, 2022]

# OF AO3 FICS: 9* (▲5)
# OF AO3 WORDS: 53.6k (▲13.4k)
# OF DW FICS: 4 (▼8)
# OF DW WORDS: 2.6k (▼10k)
TOTAL WORDS: 56.2k (▲3.4k)

*ok so looking back it looks like this year i focused more on crossposting to ao3 (also because i ended up posting a lot more longfic which. yay?) i didn't even realize until i made this post wow. also deciding to include this upcoming 17hols in 2023 instead of 2022, which may skew my statistics for this year. still, these are some insane numbers.

AT A GLANCE

SEVENTEEN: 13(▼3)

so i actually did something really fun this year && instead of writing my usual pairs (which almost always revolve around seokmin) i tried out a lot of different povs & ships! it was really fun, to the point where i kept an o13 tracker just to see which ones i was able to nail down. notes from this year:

FAV POV: minghao (3), then dk & seungkwan (2 each)
FAV SHIP: seokgyu (3) & seokhao (2) [my 97z!]
FAV TAGS: hurt/comfort, fluff (i know what i love & i thrive in it. respect)

> interestingly, not many seokmin pov fics (2/9)
> hit 50% for minghao ships this year (6/12)

apparently i have become known for seokgyu this year which is partially very vindicating (no one was seokgyuing the way i was during 2020 lnr era where i feel like i manifested their existence. i laid the groundwork baby. im joking but also not) and also deplorable (joking) and i am apologizing to seokhao right this minute im so sorry babes i'm coming back for u in 2023. tilling the land, farming the soil, tending to the earth. i'm making this right.

MASTERLIST

january
are any of us truly alone?
junhui/minghao, 2533
17hols
i want us to eat well
seokmin/mingyu, 1801
17hols
hang on, just a bit longer
seungkwan/vernon, 4046
17hols

june
all i know is (i want you)
pairing, 6701

september
you can sleep here in my arms.
seokmin/minghao, seokmin & mingyu, mingyu/jeonghan, 8332
ficmix
call me, beep me
seokmin/mingyu, 2461
svtbingo

october
silent departure
junhui & minghao, 1393, october
svtbingo
tremor of the heart
mingyu/minghao, 6617
svtbingo

december
autumn leaves
seungcheol/jeonghan, 16202
secret santa xchange

QUESTIONS/THOUGHTS

favorite fic you wrote this year?

recency bias is probably a thing but i would have to say or tremor of the heart. mostly because i am really confident on my ability to write one thing (seokmin) and these did not revolve him at all. also because these are ships that i do not have extensive knowledge about/have a lot of prior material for so i just was terrified of writing them Wrong. javi pushed me so hard for autumn leaves even when i thought it was going horribly and sticky/kim gave me really good advice for tremor of the heart to get it to where it is now..i truly could not have done this without my lovely friends. it's a collective effort. i think also both of them were written at a time when i wanted to be more gentle to myself in my own relationships (in my head, with other people, etc.) and so i really think. it was cathartic writing them.

favorite lines

beginnings

tremor of the heart

The car looks like one pernicious bump in the road could send it breaking down into smithereens.

Minghao tells Mingyu just as much when he sees it, eyes narrowing in disdain. Like, you expect me to get into that rust bucket? Except Mingyu knows he will, because well, Minghao is Minghao. And because Mingyu had been the one to ask.

depends on the angle

Boo Seungkwan had declared Lee Chan his mortal enemy earlier this year, when that uppity brat from Iksan waltzed into their school and stole the title of class president from right under his nose.

“He couldn’t have stolen it,” Minghao tried to placate Seungkwan, ever the bigger person. “It never belonged to you in the first place.”

endings
autumn leaves

“I know,” Seungcheol cuts in gently, chest rumbling. One gentle finger hooks itself underneath Jeonghan’s chin and tilts it up, so Jeonghan is looking at Seungcheol. Can see how honest and sincere and good Seungcheol is.

“Okay,” Jeonghan whispers, fingers entangling themselves fiercely with Seungcheol’s. “Okay. Just so you know.”

Seungcheol squeezes Jeonghan’s hand back, and laughs some more. “I do.”

hang on, just a little bit longer

“Oh, you’re so lucky you’re cute.” Seungkwan reaches out to pat Hansol on the cheek, fumbling in his coat pocket for the keyring. His heart sings the entire time.

“Let’s go home, Hansol-ah.”

misc
all i know is (i want you)

Junhui has somehow finagled a cake. It’s small and lumpy and misshapen, but it’s a cake. The last supply delivery was six months ago; all the sweets should be long gone by now, either hoarded by Seungcheol or used as bartering tools for the other crew members to get what they want, but… there it sits, right in front of him. Physical proof. There’s even a bunch of candles shoved in there, though purely for decoration — if they were to light it, several alarms would go off and they’d be drenched in seconds.

Great safety feature for when they’re on a hulking metal ship manned by thousands of personnel, floating in space. Not exactly conducive to festive celebrations.

“Happy birthday,” Jihoon pats him on the shoulder.

are any of us truly alone?

A marriage of convenience, he joked, to which Minghao always rolled his eyes.

“Everything becomes convenient to you,” Minghao pointed out.

Junhui wondered if it was the same for Minghao. Minghao, who was infinitely more thoughtful than Junhui was, always so careful about everything that he did, so that in the end it looked like an act of deliberation instead of something he’d mindlessly just stumbled into.

call me, beep me

“Damn it,” Seokmin hisses. “Don’t you dare fucking die on me.”

“Or what,” Mingyu laughs lazily, like he isn’t bleeding out all over his shag carpet, the same one that Mingyu gives Seokmin a dirty look for every time he suggests fucking on it. Things are very dire, Seokmin thinks distantly, hysterically. “You’ll kill me?”

my, what beautiful teeth you have

Hansol had wiped his mouth with a sleeve and it came away red. “Sorry,” he said, sheepish, in that way of his, eyes wide and full of expression. But Minghao could not tell what he was sorry for — being seen or being caught. There was a difference, however small. Being seen meant to be exposed, to leave your body out in the open so that someone could know every inch of you and still make their way forward. Being caught meant to be caged — you did something you shouldn’t have. You are not what you say you are.

favorite comments

my goal is always to write stories from the heart, about the heart, about the love preserved in the little things. life, in general, but not necessarily the most exciting parts, because it isn't always exciting. the comments that i've received on my fic this year really :') strengthened my resolve to continue writing for a really long time. i promise you that i read and treasure every single comment that i receive. something about responding to them feels like letting go, so i'm really bad at replying. but i see them, and i'm hugging everyone that takes the time to write these.
even now i am receiving comments on stuff that i wrote like 5 years ago (was falling into place) or in 2021 and it floors me just how much love i have received. so thank you

yes i'm biased but cat's response on you can sleep here in my arms. made me sooo happy bc i really agonized over this and wanted to do her ficmix justice esp bc she truly writes relationships and tenderhearted moments in the wake of sad things so so well.

... i don’t know how you managed to write something so perfectly catered to me but i feel so warm and grateful i don’t know what to say ;~; i feel like even after typing this comment i didn't even touch on everything i loved because there was so much... i really love reading things where people have lots of different relationships with different people and you somehow managed it so perfectly here. minghao & seokmin, minghao & seokmin & wonwoo, seokmin & wonwoo, and of course seokmin & mingyu… they all interact with each other differently but there is so much feeling in every combination of characters. like YEAH T__T

and also this one i just received the other day that made me feel very tenderized, from exo_cbx on a wish your heart makes:

your seokmins are absolutely incredible. no matter what life and history he dons, he is fundamentally the same -- kind, and i really love that.

i'm really honored. truly. it makes me want to work harder this upcoming year :')

favorite fics you read this year
in no particular order:

gold fever by xiajin
desire three shades distant by lacquer (a reread but i always think about it. im always thinking about them.)
if you could read me by heartspound
I STOP TO SMELL THE BLOOD IN THE TREES AND FOR A MOMENT THE WORLD IS SO BEAUTIFUL IT BRINGS ME TO TEARS by perennials
satellite call by noonwitching
to kill the dragon (to finish the story) by sysupportgroup
kneel into dreams by Klavier

GOING FORWARD

2022

goals
> write one fic WITHOUT seokmin in it. at all. ✓
> write one (1) fic for myself ✓
> 5 published fic on ao3 (5k+) ✓
 > write at least one longfic for a pairing not in top 3 of this yr ✓✓✓
> try sci-fi genre (more legit) ✓

2023

goals
> experiment with pacing & writing styles!
> consistency w/ writing [finish way before deadlines... pls]
> sportsfic as a metaphor 4 life
> comment more [this past year i died with school finishing and just being busy so i want to be more present in the community! this just also is a personal life goal, to be more present, so trying to be good about that :')] &&& RESPOND to comments!

future plans
ok slay on me for meeting all my 2022 goals even if i never looked back on them after making them.. and after reviewing my 2022 plans i ended up not doing any of those so... we'll just wing it this year. i'll just leave some fun possibilities here, who knows if i'll get to them :P

> soonhoon friendship thesis
> rarepair round3 (am stoked bc sooo many seokmin prompts this yr... wogh)
> giftfic for abigail (v late)
> seokmin thesis ft. food as love language and exploring familial relationships
> finishing ot13 tracker
> pjo au (please)
> soonseokchan OR seokchanhao triangulation

if you read this far ahead, thank you so much T___T asjdkfh i know i do tend to get rambly when i reflect. i can't wait for another year of creating and reading and gifting! happy holidays i love you all dearly.