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2021 in parts: fic + other wips
it's already well under way into the new year but i'm going to write this so i can put my thoughts into words and take a step back to look at all the things that i want to accomplish. it's all about the manifestation!!!! part of that, for me, as i've learned, involves putting down Real and Tangible Goals/Steps i want take to get there. i'm a virgo through and through (sun + rising), i love lists, so maybe that's a major part of it, too (though i don't know much else about astrology)
so, here we go:
fic in 2021
this past month i've had so much fun, the most fun i've had in a while, writing things that i want to see and reading things that my lovely genius friends are also bringing to the table, considering new things and constantly trying to experiment with my own fic. xia was talking about svt fandom/fic writers + the found family trope and i think it's so true, how just knowing svt has changed the course of my life, who i am as a person, who i want to be etc. through the people they've brought to my door. it's a little cheesy but i'm so grateful!!!! there are so many brilliant fic writers in this fandom + i want to thank you all for being you <3
that being said, i really have to admit: i'm having so much fun writing again. so, so much fun. i forgot why i stopped. although i admit there is (probably) some ~escapism~ compounded by ample procrastination going on here. school is fun but it's no fun when it's just constantly staring at a screen 24/7.
in this month alone i've already written 5x the amount of fic that i put out last year. it's not only quantity though, it's the quality too - i feel really energized and happy and excited about my writing, which hasn't happened for ages. i want to try new things and i'm no longer daunted by the idea or like, feeling pressured to write certain things in a certain way for other people to consume. i'm writing because i want to and not just for the blatant validation, which is the coolest thing ever, because i used to be really caught up in the numbers (most definitely i still do this, but as with most things it's a work in progress :'0). 2015 me would have never guessed that i'd be like this, 6 years in the future.
i like to think that my writing has changed a lot through the years. i was looking at old work i've done for other fandoms (the 100? anyone?) and i even spent a brief time on wattpad, writing my own things, and more recently, previous works from 2017-2018 in the svt fandom. some of it makes me cringe stupid hard. or, i guess because i've written it, i remember exactly who i was in that point of time and i just [visibly shudder]. of course you're your worst critic, but i honestly think that although there was some layer of Me stuck in there, it feels a little hollow? like i wasn't the one writing but rather it was a mirror that reflected the thing i admired the most at the time, without aiming to define my style. i'm not exactly sure how to characterize my writing now, but i know that i'm a lot happier with it. ashfdkjashf i didn't realize how long this was going to be, i thought it was going to be a little prelude but now it's grown in size so i'm going to cut to what i originally intended for this post to be about
writing goals for 2021
1. publish at least three longfic
i'm talking about 10K+, though not for the sake of the wc, but because i want to make worlds and universes that'll stay with people for a long time. i think i get caught up in the details and describing everything that everything feels really slow, so i want to experiment with speed/pacing more often without being too flowery
2. get better at outlining / world building
kind of coincides with the first one, my outlining process is really atrocious and sometimes i feel like the past work i've written falls short in terms of depth and sometimes, embarrassingly enough, continuity. just meaning that when i plot scenes, i need to do more than just *vague handgesturing* and let the characters do the rest. i've seen kim's deconstruction of sinking/synching and i want to try fully fleshing out the characters like that (understanding who they are, fundamentally, how they act, their motivations) in order to better connect to what i want the fic to be about and portray more authentic emotion. i feel like a lot of the conflict i write (or used to) was pretty baseless and/or fell flat/didn't inspire quite the right emotion, and i want to try to get better at that!
3. write for myself! + in a more orderly fashion
i realize that a majority (like over 80%) of fic i write is For Other People, like ficfests, and almost always involve me frantically writing to keep up with deadlines. 1, that's not very healthy and 2, although some fics can be written in a haze - when inspo strikes, man, it does - i think it also can crimp creative processes/styles. i also have a horrible tendency to start things without finishing them, ever so like, this also helps with #1 in a way. i want to work on things more steadily!! it's okay to take a break, but also, don't forget to pick it up back again. you can have whims but also finish out your fancy me @ me.
3a. try my hand at sci-fi/fantasy universes
at least one of these. i think it goes hand in hand with the goal above. it'll be a good exercise for me to sit down and think it all out instead of just throwing things into a doc and knowing what i want to happen but not giving myself the tools to get me there (or cue: me scrambling to make everything make sense at the end, instead of having a direction from the very beginning). maybe this will take place in the form of 97z pacrim universe.
4. seokmin pairing bingo
bc i'm, at heart, a dokyeom stan, i feel like it would be stupid fun to do a bingo where i write all of svt x seokmin. might be ambitious to ask for 13 pairs all this year, so i'm going to aim for ~35% (so like 4-5). it's really fun to get my svt lenses on and explore these dynamics, and it'll be good to get out of my comfort zone/writing other characters. if you haven't noticed i used to really only shuffle through maknae line, though i'm trying to get a feel for my 95z and 96z (junhui has been a favorite recently, as has been scoups). seokmin when he is with jeonghan is a completely different person than seokmin with mingyu or seokmin with chan. let the tinhatting commence!
5. experiment with nonlinear narrative writing
honestly wasn't sure what to put here but i wanted 5 things because it's an even number. i've been meaning to try this for a while now, because i like the challenge of putting together a story in pieces but when you read it, it becomes whole (again, goes back to #3/3a!)
karina fic!! (aka wips, works i wanna produce)
i'd really love to hear your thoughts about some things i've got planned for this year and maybe like . what you'd like to see? sometimes even i scare myself. some of these don't even have proper names, just an idea and 2 phrases sitting in a doc
whispering in the ocean breeze
soonyoung/wonwoo
pjo!au for sxsw originally but i realize i've wrote myself into a corner and i dislike where it's going. but i want this to exist because son of ares!wonwoo x son of athena!soonyoung childhood friends to lovers. really wanted to explore the themes of heroes/hero worship/the aftermath of fighting a war that wasn't really yours to begin with (blatant projection of identity crises/understanding who you are when you take away the one thing that makes you you in your opinion). fob inspired. also did i mention junhui as a son of poseidon with a really cool bow/trident weapon.
evermore
seokmin/minghao
soft and tender
seokmin/minghao
bloom
mingyu/jihoon
[person A goes to the first farmer's market of the season, and knocks over the goods in person B's stall. person B is actually a cute stall owner at the farmers market , and person A keeps coming back to see them, spends too much money on fresh produce in the process]
dilf chronicles
yeah i have nothing for this but dms with xia but . consider this: seokgyuhao, snwu, jihan all are couple of househusbands in the same neighborhood/complex and they have all have kids. the good domestic stuff.
i see you in the depths of the sea
soonyoung/wonwoo
going to write this for [redacted]. in my mind this is inspired form 24H album pics (ver B). wonwoo is a marine biologist, someone who genuinely loves the sea and the ocean, casual surfer; soonyoung a weathered surfing professional who is starting to hate what he loved to do, once upon a time. it's the, sports x devotion to the thing you love x wondering if all the years spent pouring your heart into something that does not love you back the way you love it was worth it x ocean metaphors, for me.
so, here we go:
fic in 2021
this past month i've had so much fun, the most fun i've had in a while, writing things that i want to see and reading things that my lovely genius friends are also bringing to the table, considering new things and constantly trying to experiment with my own fic. xia was talking about svt fandom/fic writers + the found family trope and i think it's so true, how just knowing svt has changed the course of my life, who i am as a person, who i want to be etc. through the people they've brought to my door. it's a little cheesy but i'm so grateful!!!! there are so many brilliant fic writers in this fandom + i want to thank you all for being you <3
that being said, i really have to admit: i'm having so much fun writing again. so, so much fun. i forgot why i stopped. although i admit there is (probably) some ~escapism~ compounded by ample procrastination going on here. school is fun but it's no fun when it's just constantly staring at a screen 24/7.
in this month alone i've already written 5x the amount of fic that i put out last year. it's not only quantity though, it's the quality too - i feel really energized and happy and excited about my writing, which hasn't happened for ages. i want to try new things and i'm no longer daunted by the idea or like, feeling pressured to write certain things in a certain way for other people to consume. i'm writing because i want to and not just for the blatant validation, which is the coolest thing ever, because i used to be really caught up in the numbers (most definitely i still do this, but as with most things it's a work in progress :'0). 2015 me would have never guessed that i'd be like this, 6 years in the future.
i like to think that my writing has changed a lot through the years. i was looking at old work i've done for other fandoms (the 100? anyone?) and i even spent a brief time on wattpad, writing my own things, and more recently, previous works from 2017-2018 in the svt fandom. some of it makes me cringe stupid hard. or, i guess because i've written it, i remember exactly who i was in that point of time and i just [visibly shudder]. of course you're your worst critic, but i honestly think that although there was some layer of Me stuck in there, it feels a little hollow? like i wasn't the one writing but rather it was a mirror that reflected the thing i admired the most at the time, without aiming to define my style. i'm not exactly sure how to characterize my writing now, but i know that i'm a lot happier with it. ashfdkjashf i didn't realize how long this was going to be, i thought it was going to be a little prelude but now it's grown in size so i'm going to cut to what i originally intended for this post to be about
writing goals for 2021
1. publish at least three longfic
i'm talking about 10K+, though not for the sake of the wc, but because i want to make worlds and universes that'll stay with people for a long time. i think i get caught up in the details and describing everything that everything feels really slow, so i want to experiment with speed/pacing more often without being too flowery
2. get better at outlining / world building
kind of coincides with the first one, my outlining process is really atrocious and sometimes i feel like the past work i've written falls short in terms of depth and sometimes, embarrassingly enough, continuity. just meaning that when i plot scenes, i need to do more than just *vague handgesturing* and let the characters do the rest. i've seen kim's deconstruction of sinking/synching and i want to try fully fleshing out the characters like that (understanding who they are, fundamentally, how they act, their motivations) in order to better connect to what i want the fic to be about and portray more authentic emotion. i feel like a lot of the conflict i write (or used to) was pretty baseless and/or fell flat/didn't inspire quite the right emotion, and i want to try to get better at that!
3. write for myself! + in a more orderly fashion
i realize that a majority (like over 80%) of fic i write is For Other People, like ficfests, and almost always involve me frantically writing to keep up with deadlines. 1, that's not very healthy and 2, although some fics can be written in a haze - when inspo strikes, man, it does - i think it also can crimp creative processes/styles. i also have a horrible tendency to start things without finishing them, ever so like, this also helps with #1 in a way. i want to work on things more steadily!! it's okay to take a break, but also, don't forget to pick it up back again. you can have whims but also finish out your fancy me @ me.
3a. try my hand at sci-fi/fantasy universes
at least one of these. i think it goes hand in hand with the goal above. it'll be a good exercise for me to sit down and think it all out instead of just throwing things into a doc and knowing what i want to happen but not giving myself the tools to get me there (or cue: me scrambling to make everything make sense at the end, instead of having a direction from the very beginning). maybe this will take place in the form of 97z pacrim universe.
4. seokmin pairing bingo
bc i'm, at heart, a dokyeom stan, i feel like it would be stupid fun to do a bingo where i write all of svt x seokmin. might be ambitious to ask for 13 pairs all this year, so i'm going to aim for ~35% (so like 4-5). it's really fun to get my svt lenses on and explore these dynamics, and it'll be good to get out of my comfort zone/writing other characters. if you haven't noticed i used to really only shuffle through maknae line, though i'm trying to get a feel for my 95z and 96z (junhui has been a favorite recently, as has been scoups). seokmin when he is with jeonghan is a completely different person than seokmin with mingyu or seokmin with chan. let the tinhatting commence!
5. experiment with nonlinear narrative writing
honestly wasn't sure what to put here but i wanted 5 things because it's an even number. i've been meaning to try this for a while now, because i like the challenge of putting together a story in pieces but when you read it, it becomes whole (again, goes back to #3/3a!)
karina fic!! (aka wips, works i wanna produce)
i'd really love to hear your thoughts about some things i've got planned for this year and maybe like . what you'd like to see? sometimes even i scare myself. some of these don't even have proper names, just an idea and 2 phrases sitting in a doc
whispering in the ocean breeze
soonyoung/wonwoo
pjo!au for sxsw originally but i realize i've wrote myself into a corner and i dislike where it's going. but i want this to exist because son of ares!wonwoo x son of athena!soonyoung childhood friends to lovers. really wanted to explore the themes of heroes/hero worship/the aftermath of fighting a war that wasn't really yours to begin with (blatant projection of identity crises/understanding who you are when you take away the one thing that makes you you in your opinion). fob inspired. also did i mention junhui as a son of poseidon with a really cool bow/trident weapon.
If you throw three children into a storm, not a single one of them will come back alive.
Not in any way that counts, at least.
evermore
seokmin/minghao
hats are. guns are. gods are. the trees are offensive to the sky. then
they called our language mountain, then they pronounced it dead.
we are in a dream, you said. undo the pain before you speak
against the gods with mouths full of rain. a tongue cut in half
becomes sharper, you said. date your wound.
—mountain language, Öykü Tektn
and when i was shipwrecked i thought of you, in the cracks of light i dreamed of you, it was real enough to get me through, i swear you were there. - evermore, Taylor Swift
soft and tender
seokmin/minghao
I think you travel to search
and you come back home
to find yourself there”
- chimamanda ngozi adichie
bloom
mingyu/jihoon
[person A goes to the first farmer's market of the season, and knocks over the goods in person B's stall. person B is actually a cute stall owner at the farmers market , and person A keeps coming back to see them, spends too much money on fresh produce in the process]
A tiny boy huffs angrily, standing in the center of all the destruction. His beautiful peaches, which were on display just a few seconds ago, are now scattered across the courtyard of the farmer’s market.
The boy crosses his arms when he catches Mingyu staring at him, voice deceptively sharp and barbed. “Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help me clean up the mess that you’ve made?”
That shakes Mingyu out of his internal state of panic. “Right, sorry,” he says sheepishly, pinking when he realizes that he’s been looking at him for longer than socially acceptable.
dilf chronicles
yeah i have nothing for this but dms with xia but . consider this: seokgyuhao, snwu, jihan all are couple of househusbands in the same neighborhood/complex and they have all have kids. the good domestic stuff.
i see you in the depths of the sea
soonyoung/wonwoo
going to write this for [redacted]. in my mind this is inspired form 24H album pics (ver B). wonwoo is a marine biologist, someone who genuinely loves the sea and the ocean, casual surfer; soonyoung a weathered surfing professional who is starting to hate what he loved to do, once upon a time. it's the, sports x devotion to the thing you love x wondering if all the years spent pouring your heart into something that does not love you back the way you love it was worth it x ocean metaphors, for me.
Soonyoung finds it curious that people never like to hear the nitty gritty details. They never want to see the long hours poured into, all the hard work, the payoff in the end. People don’t like to see the blood in the water. They flock towards the illusion of natural talent, of ease. Of idolatry.
Soonyoung swallows his grimace, tamps down the urge to hurl. He raises the trophy higher, golden.
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most of all, though, i'm very glad to hear that writing is feeling healthier and more enjoyable (i know we've talked a little abt escapism, but hey. we need our fun!!!) that's also something i'm trying to work towards this year. so to more writing (and to ALL the dk ships) in 2k21!!
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evermore's epigraphs are making me so interested! and "sports x devotion to the thing you love x wondering if all the years spent pouring your heart into something that does not love you back the way you love it was worth it x ocean metaphors" makes me go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
these all look so cool I hope you continue to have fun writing this year !! <3
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sports x devotion to the thing you love x wondering if all the years spent pouring your heart into something that does not love you back the way you love it was worth it x ocean metaphors feeling a little insane not gonna talk about it or else i'll start barking
also side note i love how we have the same taste in ship every ship youve mentioned on here is like in my top tier <3
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pjato au snwu was so!!! for me i wrote 3k of it and wanted to post it for sxsw but honestly i'm thinking abt scrapping it and starting over hh so idk when it will come out but i know that it will!!!!!! not exactly sure what prompted me to do ares!ww and athena!ksy but i was obsessed over the idea/identity struggle of never quite filling the stereotypes that u were born in.. theres so much potential there "tenderness as violence violence as tenderness" yes [vernon voice] oh wow .
comp sports ksy is also a want of mine i'm so excited u picked that one to talk about . specifically i wanted a scene where jww is sitting in the surf and they watch the tides roll in together early in the misty morning <3
ty for these thoughts!!!! ilu!!!!